I never imagined having Curt at home and up to his elbows in Valor Triathlon Project ongoings would be so fulfilling. I knew he would be amazing at this whole triathlon business, I just never realized the quality he would bring and the coaching partner he could be. I should have known it though, because he’s been a great partner in life, in parenting and in marriage. He’s been immersed in this sport longer than I, and his experience, insight and philosophy…. well I did marry the guy a million years ago, didn’t I?
He’s lit a spark within me in my own coaching career. To learn more, to be better, and doing it next to him has given me a whole new feeling about what we do. I love what we do, with the group of athletes we get to do it with. We have been blessed this season for sure.
We were discussing training regimens yesterday morning and somehow came onto the topic of my cycling. My cycling sessions from High Performance Training are hands down the most challenging sets I have ever done in my life. It caused me to think back to when I first began. Some of these wattages I thought were impossible. I failed at a bunch of my first rides. I couldn’t hold the wattage I would tell coach, secretly hoping he would drop it down.
He didn’t. Instead he set me straight. “You have to believe you can hit those numbers. I wouldn’t give them to you if I didn’t think you could do them.”
For some reason that ignited something within me. I was looking for cold hard data that would suggest these numbers were possible. What I got was something different. Something more powerful. Something more empowering. Was it as simple as believing?
In this particular case…. it was.
I have hit almost every number every session since. I let go of logic. I let go of wanting X to see Y to prove I could do Z. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, embraced the pain in my legs and I silenced that voice of reason.
As I am less than a month from my first race of the season I am eager. I am eager to see what that translates into. I am stronger than I have been in a long time. My run is coming a bit slower…. but it’s coming. I took a HUGE leap of faith with a new coach and a new team and not needing to know the nitty gritty details. I put my faith in coach, and it’s been incredible to just let go.
Logic has always been my worst enemy. I am a dreamer. I am someone who likes to reach into the bag of impossible and see what happens. I am not afraid to succeed and I am most definitely not afraid to fail. My ego and self worth have never been attached to paces or placings or performances.
Sometimes I wish they were. Actually often I wish they they were! But they aren’t, it’s just not who I am.
It’s been a while since I have been on the race course. I wanted to allow that fire to rekindle, I wanted to feel hungry again and not race just to go out and race. Regardless of where I am in terms of performance I can’t wait to just…. get out there and feel the feel of racing again. I want to feel the wind in my helmet and I want to feel that feeling of running on legs that just biked like they know they can.
I am starting to feel like that bear in a cage. Short course is waiting for me. I have a lot to relearn, I have a lot of redevelop. I have a lot to rediscover. I am eager to get the rust out of my system and begin this several year short course path I am on.
Until then…. I am continuing on the journey. Hitting numbers I have never seen, getting uncomfortable in ways I have never allowed myself to become.