2017 has been a bit of a bumpy ride so far. You know what they say though, for every ebb there is a flow. Sometimes you trip and fall on the ebbs, and then you cherish the flows so much more.
Most days I feel like I am standing in the middle of a racquetball court, with those blue balls coming at me from all directions. Ironically it is in those moments, that I can somehow hit the pause button as if to freeze everything in mid-air, and stop to look around.
Doesn’t matter what’s happening, life is still damn good.
I am still hitting the mountain every chance I get. It so happens it’s on my way home from work, so I can steal a few runs at least. The terror of all of it has finally passed. Turns are coming easier. I have skied a few blue square trails and while I have so far to go, I can’t believe that this work has paid off. While this week brought a burst of spring, I am confident my dear love snow miser will gift me with just one more blast before it’s all over.
As with every season, I welcome spring and summer with open arms. They hold the possibility of so much fun. I have a new time trial bike and a new race SUP board to break in.
I remain undecided about my triathlon competition status this coming season. Curt has kept me fit at a consistent ten hours a week. I love to ride that edge of being a good 12 weeks of focused training away from a strong race. My fitness is my health and something I am crazy protective over. It doesn’t matter what’s happening around me, I make time to be stronger every day. If I feel triathlon burnout creeping in I strap on my alpine or XC skis and head to winter. Or grab an extra yoga session. I even have a new something I am embarking on for the next ten weeks, just to see. What will it do for me?
I am addicted to movement, no matter what.
If I don’t race, I will announce more. Race my SUP more. Adventure more. If I do race it will be Nationals and Placid 70.3. I love keeping it open to possibility.
A friend told me to never be afraid to step back from our sport. I have been here twenty years, I have done just about everything I wanted to do here. The joy I get out of coaching our Valor Triathlon Project athletes through their seasons, right now that’s where the thrill of multisport comes for me. Their finish lines are so much more important than my own. I love being part of their journey, I love piecing together and managing what works for and with them. I love getting to know them.
I just love the whole darn thing. When and if it’s my time to jump in, I am fit enough to need a solid training block and I am there. Right on the edge of glory (right Kevin?).
The whole thing about this journey called life…… is that we can’t expect not to constantly change and evolve. We can’t expect to somehow magically arrive at this place where everything is all zen and we are going to ride this perfect little wave of a perfectly lived life. Oh hell no.
Life is messy. Regardless of where you are on your journey, it’s messy. We fall down, we roll around in mud, we get up and dust ourselves off only to fall down an embankment. But we get back up. We hold our heads up high and we try again. At the end of the day, we don’t fault ourselves from hitting or missing the so called “awesome day” mark. I look back and ask whether I treated people well, whether I did my best at being mom, wife, nurse, coach, athlete…. did I give my best? If I didn’t, I take note. I don’t admonish myself. I take note, and aim to do that better the next day. If I really think I hit the mark, I don’t become too proud. I take note and aim to do better the next day.
At the end of each day I wipe the slate clean. I have to. I have spent too many years carrying that damn slate around and let me tell you… it’s fucking heavy. There’s no need to do that to yourself. It’s time to set that shit down.
While 2017 has been a bit of a bumpy ride, in the long run it’s necesary. For some reason. Reasons that I am not privy to know on this side of life. I have an innate trust and faith that these bumps come for reasons and …. well it’s just like skiing. Keep your goggles and helmet on, keep the knees soft as you accept the bumps that you can feel but can’t see. Keep your weight centered, be prepared for the out of control snowboarder to smash into you, and don’t forget to enjoy the view on the way down.
Sport is a metaphor for life. Life is a metaphor for sport. If there is anything I have learned in my forty three years here… it’s that everyting is a lesson. Hang on for the bumpy parts, let the waves carry you…. and look up.