2018 was about setting safe goals. Ones I knew I could accomplish. I knew I could finish a marathon, a 70.3 and another Ironman. It was a year of reintroducing myself to my sport, and truthfully I wasn’t willing to take big chances. Not yet at least. I needed that foundation of success my first year back.
Trust me, in my life I have had plenty of failures too (the path to success and failure is the same in fact), I just needed 2018 to be safe.
2019… that’s another story.
I am really excited to have qualified for 2019 USAT age Group Nationals. Qualifying is one thing, doing well at Nationals is a whole different ballgame. It’s the quarter of the distance of Ironman, the distance isn’t the difficult part. It’s the fast part.
I started my triathlon career excelling at this distance. In fact I did a lot of series racing, which mean racing every weekend (sometimes twice a weekend) for points in a series. I did really well in this format and more importantly I loved it.
But that was a few years ago. I can tell you that I still love it and I am excited to do something different from Ironman. Will I do Ironman #10? I am sure I will at some point. But right now I need something old but something new. I want a different challenge and I want to switch everything up.
Ironman can be familiar territory. I am comfortable finishing 140.6 miles over and over and over again. Ironman doesn’t seem BIG to me anymore! The change back to shorter distances feels frightening to be honest. It’s a different kind of difficult and one I haven’t visited in a while. We do that in life. We fall back on what’s comfortable, what we know works professionally, personally, and in other areas.
I am downright terrified of stagnation. I am terrified of not growing in some capacity. I don’t fear age at all, I welcome it. I fear being that person who has done the same thing for 25 years and who starts to hate it at year 15 but feels stuck. I like to be in the driver’s seat of life. I like to knock doors down and make the decision whether to go through them or just keep passing by.
There is just too much to do in this life to sit back and allow myself to become stagnant.
2019 will bring a lot of challenge which in turns becomes a lot of growth. From something as simple as short course triathlon, to a college bound son, changing the courses I teach within the nursing program I teach in, and starting my own doctoral program. It’s not about staying busy, it’s about constantly learning, always moving and this hunger I have to learn and evolve. I can not seem to scratch that and to be really honest…… I hope I never do.
2018 was my pep rally. I needed that. I got it. 2019…… I am standing on the edge of you. Everything has shifted and I don’t know the answer to how fast I can go or how much I can learn. Not knowing is terrifying and exhilarating all at once. As I said success and failure have almost the same path. I am ready and willing for either.